Easy coconut and almond pancakes

You’ve brought a girl back. She’s spent the night. You want to see her again. You panic. How do you secure her affections first thing in the morning?

Pancakes, drizzled in honey. Stupid people can make this. People who are so stupid they just know not to eat themselves. OK that’s a lie, they’d do something else. I don’t know what stupid people would do. I digress.

Things you need: cream cheese, sugar, a large free-range egg, milk, self-raising flour, almond oil, coconut oil, honey.

1. Set your stove to medium. Place frying pan on stove.
2. Whisk the egg and three-quarters of a cup of milk until it’s very frothy in a good-sized bowl.
3. Whisk in two tablespoons cream cheese into the above.
4. In goes a tablespoon of sugar. Whisk whisk whisk!
5. Same for two cap-fuls of almond extract. More whisking!
6. Scoop out about one-and-a-quarter to one-and-a-half cups of flour into a bowl. Take a metal spoon. Scoop a couple of spoons of flour into the mix, and fold (stir in a figure of eight) and repeat until all of the flour is incorporated.
7. Whisk very briefly to ensure everything is nicely mixed in.
8. Your frying pan will be hot. Scoop out a bit of coconut oil and let it melt.
9. Place one-quarter of a cup of the batter into the pan for each pancake.
10. Don’t touch. Look at the two photographs. To get to the cooked one, turn the pancakes — once — and only once, when they look like they ones in the half-cooked one.
11. Mountain them up on a plate (three per person?) and drizzle with honey. Drizzling is important. Key.

Eat well!

(E&OE.)